Leaders often assume presence is something you project. They believe it’s about appearing calm under pressure or projecting confidence. It’s why ‘imposter’ comes up – because they think they need to fake it.
Presence is about how you show up, but it comes from who you know yourself to be before you ever speak.
A grounded presence starts with identity. When you are clear on who you are, what you value, and where you stand, you do not need to manage the moment so tightly. Instead of performing as a leader, you are practicing it. Your words land differently because they are coming from a rooted place rather than a reactive one.
My clients say to me, “But I don’t feel settled and don’t believe I can do it.” Confidence doesn’t arrive in the mail one day; it is created through action. When you don’t believe you can do it, it’s a self-connection problem. When you are disconnected from yourself, you listen through filters and respond from habit. Your message is based on what you think the room wants from you. That is exhausting, and people feel it even if they cannot name it. Confused audiences question your message and talk about how you need more ‘executive presence’.
Knowing yourself and being grounded in it changes the way you communicate. You pause more naturally – saying less, making it matter more. You know to hold tension without rushing to resolve it because you know the tension isn’t about you. Disagreements don’t result in reactive posturing and you know to listen without losing your footing. It’s holding your ground without being offensive or defensive. That’s presence.
I’m not suggesting introspection for its own sake. It is about alignment. When your internal sense of who you are matches how you lead, your presence becomes steady. You stop borrowing authority from titles or urgency and start leading from something more durable.
Presence is not something to cultivate separately from identity. It is the expression of it. When you know yourself, you give others permission to do the same. Isn’t that where powerful leadership conversations begin?